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Project X | The Clapper Bored

Project X

This isn’t rocket science: you throw together naked high-school girls (all played by 20-something year old lingerie models), lots of alcoholic product endorsement, a pool, a house party soundtrack and lots of slow motion shots. There. Film. On the face of it (and according to the trailer) Project X has all of these things. But don’t let the trailer deceive you; this film is totally, fucking stupid. All I wanted was to see an incredible, sexy, out of control party (with, maybe, some pithy dialogue) shot in the most glamourizing and irresponsible way. Instead, what I got was a film with a bulky expository beginning (with absolutely zero laughs) and an end that was so out of place with everything to do with the premise that I had my head in my hands.

The basic idea is that this is a found footage account of the most insane high school party ever thrown. If you have any misconceptions about the found footage genre in general then this will do nothing to dispel them as the camera goes from Flip HD to 1000 fps without any explanation. But I could forgive that (although I wish they’d just abandoned it as soon as it became to stupid) if the movie focused on the bit that we’re all interested in: the party. Instead we get insanely tedious interludes with the three heroes of the night: confusingly unpopular Thomas (who sexy girls love but who still gets bullied), irritating New York Jew Costa and the token fat kid whose name eludes me. Yadda, yadda. When you’ve got an enormous naked pool party taking place outside, the last thing you want to do is watch some guy freaking out because there’s smashed glass in his parents’ study.

Which brings us to the last half hour when the film turns from wish fulfilment to ‘let’s just burn shit’. Yep, I’d rather see a guy with a flamethrower torching police cars than the party scenes. I’d actually rather see Thomas listening to answerphone messages than see that. This might be produced by Todd Philips but where The Hangover’s intelligent conceit was that we only see the aftermath of the carnage, Project X shows us the carnage and then lays even more carnage on top of that. It just a shame that none of this could’ve be done with a sense of humour or anything other than the eye of a pornographer and the ear of a Loose Women staff-writer.

A shambles of a film that survives simply on the strength of its glamorously debauched party scenes. The rest is Snyderesque stupidity.

Title: Project X
Director: Nima Nourizadeh
Starring: Miles Teller (weirdly) and a bunch of other people...
Certificate: 18/Marketing Nightmare
Running Time: About 90 minutes

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